Gifts of the Second Half of Life

by Dr. Susan Stewart, Professor of Psychology

As a young woman, I had never considered that there might be gifts associated with aging. Like many in our youth-worshipping and death-fearing culture, I saw life as a bell curve, peaking around 40, and declining steadily thereafter. That perception changed three years ago, however, when I began rummaging through what psychologist Carl Jung called the "treasure trove" of world myth and folktales, looking for stories of the old woman.

In addition to the all-too-familiar wicked witch and ugly hag, I found that the crone (or grandmother or queen, as she is sometimes called) is a multi-faceted character who is also wise and witty, exuberant and effective, patient and paradoxical, courageous, creative, contented, and compassionate, autonomous and audacious, self loving and selflessly loving, flirtatious and remarkably flexible. Although she was my focus, I found tales of older men who also exhibit a broad range of valuable qualities and play vital roles – for example, wise teacher, shaman/magician, peacemaker, initiator of the young, ally of the true of heart, protector of the earth and her creatures, and creative problem solver.

I was delighted to discover these inspiring older heroes and heroines, and even more pleased to find a growing body of research that suggests similar possibilities in later development. Challenging what were once considered "inevitable" negative effects of aging, many medical and social scientists are now discovering that people age in widely different ways, that chronological age is a fairly poor predictor of how old people look and feel, and that many characteristics, such as wisdom, creativity, and delight, often increase with years.

According to world myth and folklore, as well as this growing body of research, the following are some of the potential gifts of the second half of life:

increasing wisdom - clear seeing, deep understanding, and right action – or inaction

enhanced creativity - in thinking, expression and living

greater freedom from social convention and the willingness to live one’s priorities and to stand with oneself, despite disapproval

emotional mastery - comfort with one’s emotions and the ability to express them in non-harming ways; a capacity for equanimity, regardless of outer circumstances; greater acceptance of oneself as is; and an enhanced capacity for non-derogatory humor, especially the ability to laugh at oneself

increased tolerance, acceptance and compassion for others

growing appreciation for the small, the slow, the subtle, and the simple

a tolerance for paradox and uncertainty, the return of awe and wonder, and a deepening appreciation of the Mystery of life

and a capacity for self-transcendence and surrender - moving beyond the concerns of one’s ego, personality, and appearance, letting go of control, and becoming an instrument of life, willing to do what is needed for the greater good

These gifts of the second half of life are tendencies – not guarantees – that require both willingness and work.